I feel so out of it. I've gained a few lbs. I'm back to 99 lbs at night. Fuck. I need to start losing weight again. The thing is, it's easy when I don't think about it.

At the beginning of the year, I was around 99lbs too, because I had gained like 4 lbs during winter break, but I lost it all, got done to about 93 lbs again within about the first there or maybe four week of January. During the second half of that time period, it was easy because this boy and I started texting and it kept my mind off food. And I know it's completely pathetic to say, but I gained again after he stopped texting me.

So now I'm 99 lbs again and it kind of sucks. The boy and I talk on and off but I need to get over him. Not that there was much of anything to get over in the first place, but still.

So I'm in need of a plan and some motivation.

I currently have the number 87 written on my palm. It reminds me of my goal (more or less) which is helpful because I realize that I sometimes eat without realizing it or without keeping my goal in mind.

I'm not so sure how good I can be tomorrow because my brother is home from college and will probably want to go out to eat. I also have no school tomorrow.

But if he doesn't, here's the plan:

b. 10AM slice of toast with peanut butter (I have the one that's half the cals of regular pb) and bananas (150)

l. 1PM half a bag of udon with egg whites and broccoli (250)

s. 4PM slice of toast with peanut butter and banana (150)

d. 7PM whatever my parents make (400)

meh.